New Post. Old Poem...

I just found this so enjoy!!!! :o)

Untitled

Whats a love story?? Many people seem to ask..
Does it involve a male, whom in a womans love he basks..
Or a lady in the ritz, looking for her lost mate..
Giving everthing for love..
Letting her heart choose her fate...

No, love is not a simple cliche, not an easy fairytale..
Love is pain, and most of all, love at times can be a jail..
A jail without bail, and only one holds the key...
So then your fate turns to them..
Only they can set you free...

But is the freedom worth the pain..AHH theres some food for thought
Would you rather be alone trapped?
Or free and in Love, caught?

Love is not a petty game and not for childish minds...
Love not only comes from pain but largely compromise...
Dont get me wrong Love can be grand if handeled with great care..
A bond by words between two hearts,
A feeling they both share...

So as I end this simple rhyme, that has un-knotted ends..
Take thought of what I say to you and try to comprehend..
That Love is what you make it,
Be it simple, hard, or true..
The thought begins insdie and ends with I Love YOU....

I just gotta vent DAMMIT

Okay okay okay....
Im just gonna type whatever comes to my head...

I am in the WORST mood ever...and I havent felt like this in a long time...

I dont even know why Im upset anymore!!!

Its crazy..just one thought can FUCK up my whole and i mean WHOLE evening...
OMG OMG OMG!!

maybe im dumb...but i feel that it is perfectly fine for people to throw tantrums every once in a while...

Wheather its yelling and snapping on people or if its simply crying and listening to music until you fall asleep...

Its a part of the cycle of life...
..at least thats how I feel about it!!!
(feeling better already)

But for every fit you throw, you should have someone there to tell you "its okay get back up and keep it movin.."..
Now if that someone is you....you are VERY VERY mature...

But for the people that havent quite made it there yet...
You may need some reinforcement...like a best friend or a mother...or a significant other...

Okay now that that is off my chest, i can talk about my story and MY life...

Okay I am 20 years old...
Dont have my license...
Dont have my car...

My plans for this summer is to get both of these things..

But for some reason right now I am terribly discouraged....

I wanna talk to someone...but all the people I depend on to talk to me either tell me the same stuff I have been hearing forever (your time will come, Christian, just be patient/ stope being so negative/ just keep saving your money).... or they will say if you are gonna complain about it, just change it..but change takes time..and I am BEYOND tired of waiting...i just wish i could convey it in words about how tired i am about the phase of life that i am in...and i dont know how to handle it...all i can do is pray....

Now if you havent noticed by now..its not only about the car...but if i get into everything..you will be reading for..only GOD knows when...
I know I shouldnt be so negative, but when you have been positive for so long....you start to lose hope...

ya know...

Well i guess im done..
and i already know that i left a lot of things open...but venting isnt really supposed to be grammatically correct and complete..

Until later days...

-C

What I am I supposed to do when saying " I Love You" no longer holds wieght...

When we have let anger take its course instead of letting fate..

I hurt

You hurt...

Both at a loss for words...

My feelings havent changed for you...

But with you i fear the worst...

You say you've grown past me

I agree im still childish...

I thought love surpasses everything...

Stop being afraid...just try it...

Why cant we both heal together??

Why must we be apart..

Love, why is it so complicated...

Why fight so hard for the heart???

These tears I shed for you daily..

Have yet to alter my love...

because every night the sun sets...

I thank God that you are who I love....

Just a Recap..on Moi!!

WOW WOW WOW!!

It indeed has been a minute...

Well still, everything is everything...

I am on Christmas break and hope to be writing new poems and words of encouragement soon...

I try not to force anything in my life...beauty comes with spontaneity...I live by it and love it...

The most memorable moments are those that are unexpected...anyway...before I start getting really deep and philosophical..lol Lets see if I can dig in my head and pull out something...lol

Hmm...well the family and I recently moved into a new house and are still getting settled...I think Christmas this year is gonna be great!!!

Speaking of Christmas, I am beyond surprised at the fact that I am 20 and still have soo many presents under the tree which leads me to the issue that i am dealing with right now...

What is the age limit to when your parents stop taking care of you..

I am 20 so right now I feel that I am okay..and they do not entirely care for me..I purchase my own clothing and hair and nails and pay for my own bills...basically they are providing room and board when I'm not on campus..I admit at times when I don't feel like paying for something, I act like a spoiled brat and ask and whine..lol (tis a small flaw I am working on) until I get my way...but not all the time..and now days because of our financial situation they just give me things randomly....My boyfriend *who is a very independent individual* feels as though I am enabling them to tell still have authority over me...he feels that my parents (mainly my mother) think they if they buy me things and do things for me they still have the okay to tell me what to do and i absolutely have to do it!!! This is not true at least to me....but if you all have any say in this let me know....get at me on twitter (even tho i already tweeted about this)...well i could go on and on (like I always say..lol)...but ill let you guys go for now..and promise to post more!!

I LOVE YOU ALL!!

and THANK YOU SOOO MUCH FOR READING!!!!

With love!!!

Christian!!!!

More Poems!!!!

New Poems!!! Just two though!!

**Ms. Fortunates' Pain**

No, I may not live in the poorest of places,
But trust, I know what the essence of pain is.

No, my family is not on broken ground,
But my life has had plenty of Ups and Downs.

Simply because I don't fit the "status quo"
Of poverty, out on the street no where to go,
Doesn't mean I don't know how it feels to be alone,
Sunshine on my face,
Pouring Rain in my soul.

Insecurity is my struggle.

Self-consciousness, my pain.

The feeling of belonging, is what I cry to gain.

But because I live lavish and people think I'm rich,
My hurt gets overlooked,
They say "Look at that stuck up bitch!"

Its not that hard to see my pain,
Its just as clear as day.

But because my status surpasses yours,
You chose to look away.

The hurt, depression swept under the rug weather it be pricey or not,
So just like you I cry at night weather I'm rich or not.

******

** Today I Learn**

Today I learn to live alone.

To make a path thats all my own.

No longer treading on familiar ground,
My voice, my place crying out to be found.

No more crutches, handouts turned away.

Its time to fall on my face...

My way....

Preparing for pain..

...regret...

...success...

Time to make myself a woman..
...More or Less...

So tired of hiding behind your shadow.

I want to test MY limits.
See how far I can go.

Yeah, it'll hurt, its supposed to...

...Ill be okay...

Ill win....

Ill lose....

..Ill live to see another day...

So let me go
I know Im ready.

I wanna face the world.
Make my own feet steady.

****


You guys let me know what you think about my work
THANKS FOR READING!!!!
MORE SOON!!!
:o)

Random Poetry Spurt!!!

I LOVE WHEN THESE HAPPEN!!!!!

Untitled 1:

From the Utmost depths of my heart,
Flows true love to you and your endeavors.
Anything you ask me, you got it.
Its Yours.
You cant say I dont do the most for you,
That would be a lie.
I do it cuz I Love You,
Yep, thats why.


Untitled 2:

Crushed.
Damaged.
The pain,
I cant stand it
The Love I have for you still, like a heart,
Runs strong through and through
What happend to us?
The broken record in my mind.
How could you throw away our light,
And walk into the dark.
Blind.
I thought we were okay,
That we had it all together
But you already saw the forecast,
I was still in sunny weather.
Now the time to part has come and gone.
But yet. My Love, Im hanging on.
I know that we are meant to be
But until that day ill set you free.

10 Minutes!!

10 more minutes...
I just wanna end it.
Tired of the sickness.
But dont wanna get suspended.
God, I hate this class!!
10 more minutes...
I cant last.
Wishing I could fly right past..
The 10 minute mark,
Continue to embark,
On my day.
I got things to do,
And bills to pay.
This is the worst time of my day.
10 minutes, 10 minutes...
Please pass away...

FUN HUH!!!....hahahah

When Is Trust an Issue??

Trust...

A five letter word, but this small piece of the English language holds a heavy job.

Trust is the total commission to something or someone,
having no doubt about any aspect of any situation involving that thing or person.

Okay, so why if we know this, is it so difficult to place this "noun" into the "verb" section of our lives??

We CANNOT blame life..
Why???
Life is based on how WE control situations...

We can ONLY blame the other person or thing when there is probable cause, but that's a type of blog that I am not even going to get into.

~Anyway~

The true and most genuine reason we cannot trust is because of US.
Its either one of 2 things.

1. You have had past experiences where the trust you one had has been broken and you are still picking up/putting together the broken pieces.

2. The second and focal reason is because you don't trust YOURSELF.
You don't feel at liberty to give yourself a chance to have anything worth while.

But there is a way you can fix it..

LET GO...

There is no step-by-step way of healing such a delicate thing like trust.
Trust is like a newborn child, if its not properly taken care of it wont develop properly.
Dysfunctional is just as bad as broken (remember that!)

Let go, your way. If that means cutting off then so be it, if you can build trust while maintaining relationships, I applaud you.

They say trust is the base of everything and it is very true..let me give you an example
"You wake up in the morning and stretch, ( trusting your body to be fully functional ) go to the bathroom and turn the light switch on, ( trusting electricity to illuminate the room) turn on the water to get into the shower...." you get the point

So don't ever say you have run out of trust its not possible...
But trust close to your heart takes time...
If trust is completely broken or just has cracks and dents in it, still take time to let things go of some of that old clutter that's blocking that trust, stunting its growth.

Well I could write about this forever!!...but my hand are getting tired...lol..until next time,

Christian ♥